


Miserlou

by AdorabloodthirstyKitty



Series: AntiDark [21]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Blood, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 06:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10431519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorabloodthirstyKitty/pseuds/AdorabloodthirstyKitty
Summary: based on this fuckingAMAZINGshort drabble/fic by my friend em





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

Car rides are sacred to Dark.

For him, they're moments of reflection. They're quiet times between the blur of action where he allows himself to think. They're times when Anti allows himself to stare, sometimes. When those pretty eyes and that pretty face are focused completely on him, even when his mind is elsewhere. On times past, good and bad.

But crammed in the backseat on his back, sucking in air through clenched teeth as his hand presses down on the gunshot wound in his side, this is a less fun car ride. Anti's frustrated, frantic babbling is something to hold onto as his vision swims, getting dark around the edges as burning pain and the feeling of his own blood between his fingers takes up almost all conscious thought, makes his head empty except for the pain and frustration and anger. He was stupid. He was cocky and he put them in danger, just like he always fucking does. It could have been Anti. It could be Anti lying here, pale and trembling, teeth clenched as his blood flows between his fingers. It could have been him.

"You should've fucking left me there," he grits out, angry at himself as his stomach sinks, as other thoughts worm their way in. Memories of the days and weeks and months of Anti’s uncaring stare, his glares and frustration and anger directed at Dark. He was right to be angry. He was right to hate him. He's dragging Anti down with him. He's going to get Anti killed,  and all Anti wants is to fucking live. He doesn't want Dark the way Dark wants him. He doesn't pine like Dark does, doesn't live and breathe for Dark the way Dark does for him. If Dark died, he's not even sure if Anti would be sad. Why would he be? He's a monster, and he's always known this. They both have.

He doesn't notice the way Anti's brows lower even more at the remark, foot pressing even harder on the gas petal as they fly down the two-lane country road, nothing but corn and vegetable fields as far as the eye can see.

"You're not dying on me, _a mhuirnín_. I won't fucking let you."

"I wish you'd tell me what the fuck those words mean," Dark grits, trying to keep his breathing steady and calm his heart, hoping to at least slow the blood flow. "It'd be nice to know before I die."

"You're not going to die," Anti argues, voice loud and tight with frustration and stress.

"I should. You'd be better off," he replies. There's no sadness in the reply, no self-pity or searching for validation. It's the truth.

"Don't fucking talk like that. You have no idea what I'd be without you."

"You'd be beautiful. You'd be an angel of death, a power so endless and almighty that they would worship and fear you like a god. They would treat you how they always should have. How I always should have."

His tongue seems to move on it's own, rambling as he stares up at the roof of the car, black spots creeping and swimming in his vision.

"All those times I told you I loved you? Those quiet times in hotel rooms while I kept moving closer, the quiet times after kills when we were bloodspattered, sharing a cigarette between us? I meant every word. It wasn't just to get in your pants, or to bring you closer to me, though I wouldn't mind either. I do love you. You're everything to me, Anti."

He doesn't usually call him by name. He calls him darling, beautiful, baby. But this may be the last time he's able to feel those syllables leave his mouth. This may be the last time he gets the privilege of speaking his name.

"You always have been, and you always will be."

He doesn't see the tears in Anti's eyes, or the way his knuckles go white as he grips the steering wheel in a death grip, willing the car to go faster. He doesn't see the moment Anti falls for him all over again.

Instead, he lets the darkness consume his gaze. He lets his heavy lids close, and lets the exhaustion he's been fighting finally pull him under.

 _"I love you, Anti,"_ he murmurs, voice quiet over the roaring car motor, tongue heavy as he finally shuts his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of you like how this ended, but I intended to write another part, a different ending for my friend em. if you like this ending, you don't have to read the next chapter at all, I understand completely!


	2. Reservoir Dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate title "Chasing Tail"

Dark wakes slowly, a steady, annoying beeping sound to his left making him frown as he squints in the stark white light. The light dims, casting most of wherever he is in shadow, and he finally opens his eyes.

He's in a hospital room, a single room with a curtain to the left, where the door probably is. The curtain shifts slightly, and Dark feels his body relax as Anti comes closer, eyes fixed on Dark, searching as he comes to sit down in a chair at his side.

"I told you I wasn't letting you die."

Dark starts to speak but frowns, his throat dry and words choked. He clears his throat, shifting to sit up.

"How..?"

"I used one of the fake identities we came up with. Glitched the cameras that would have gotten ahold of our faces, voices, anything. I'm also wiping all memory of both of us as we speak."

"Have I told you recently how much I adore you?"

"Yes, and you scared the livin shit out of me when yeh did."

Anti stares, not even hiding his intense look, not looking away like he usually does.

"You're stupid as fuck if you think I would ever want to be without you, you absolute asshole."

Dark watches as Anti stands enough to hover over his bed, a long leg swinging over as he straddles Dark's thighs, lying across him and grabbing hold of his left hand.

Anti lifts his head and looks into his eyes, only a couple inches between their faces.

"If I lost you, I would tear this world apart and burn it to ash to have you back."

Fire burns in his eyes as his hand squeezes Dark's, jaw clenching in anger before he draws in a breath.

Before Dark can find any words or calm the hammering of his heart, his heart monitor beeping faster in time with his heart, Anti shooshes him, calming him slightly.

"Steady,  _a mhuirnín, mo grá,"_ he murmurs, quiet as he leans in and steals Dark's breath with a feather-light kiss.

He kisses him slow and steady until his heart slows, pulling away reluctantly, staying close as he speaks again.

" _Mo chroí, go hálainn_ ," he murmurs, kissing him between quiet murmurs.

"I still wish I knew what that meant," Dark murmurs against his lips, frowning when Anti pulls away, studying his face as his other hand comes up to cup his face, thumb running over his cheekbone lightly before he leans down to kiss him again.

" _A mhuirnín, 'darling'."_

Dark frowns, confused before he realizes what Anti is saying, feeling as if he's lost the ability to breathe.

_"Mo grá, 'my love'."_

He kisses him again, once between each translation, and Dark clutches at him, wanting him impossibly closer, never wanting to let him leave his hold.

_"Mo chroí, 'my heart'."_

Another kiss, this one lingering like the ones from before, Anti taking his time to pull away.

_"Go hálainn, 'beautiful'."_

Dark can feel his throat closing up, gripping Anti tightly as his hand comes up to brush through his hair, looking deep into his eyes.

"If I wasn't strapped down I'd ravish you," he growls, feeling Anti’s sharp breath, the way he grips his hair a little tighter at the words, eyes going dark with lust. He runs his hand through his hair again, the heart monitor making a fizzling noise before beeping at an easy rhythm.

"Think you can be quiet for me,  _a_   _mhuirnín_?" he asks, a wicked smile brightening his face as he shifts, moving to sit up in Dark’s lap. Dark grins, gripping his hips as he surges up to kiss him breathless, hands never straying from his beautiful little spitfire as he takes him apart.


End file.
